What Every American Should Hear

This post is a little throwback! I wanted to share about an experience I had in Nicaragua that has stuck with me the past few weeks. 

There was a day where we were at a mall. I didn’t know what to expect, I hadn’t been to a mall in months or even a large shopping center of any kind. When we arrived at the mall, I was amazed. No, it wasn’t like the Palisades of New York, or even like the Pheasant Lane (If you know, you know), but it was the biggest shopping plaza I had seen in MONTHS and I was overwhelmed. 

I walked inside and spent the next 8 HOURS there. I didn’t exactly want to, but I didn’t have a ride back, so I waited. I walked, and I waited. I felt overwhelmed. I felt a heaviness, a sadness. I went to pretty much every store (shout out to MAC and Columbia for being recognizable!) and by the end of the 8 hours I was so ready to get out of there I could barely help myself from diving into the cab when it came to us. I didn’t know why I felt this way, I just knew I hated being there.

The next day was a “sabbath” day; a day each week that is solely for you and the Lord – a day each week to process, be filled up, and rested in the Lord. A day we desperately need each week to continue on with this journey of life. As I spent time in prayer, I thought about why the day prior had been so miserable to me. It was nice seeing familiar stores, hanging out with friends, and the mall even had a movie theater! But the more I thought about it, it dawned on me.

As soon as I stepped into that mall, I felt inferior. I was aware of my world-race attire; my dirty, holey, worn out clothes. I was aware of how fancy everyone was and how many shopping bags people held. I wanted to buy all these things I found – but I couldn’t afford it and didn’t have space in my backpack for it anyways. I saw all of the signs in front of the stores – beautiful people and marketing schemes luring people in. All of the shiny things and sales tags tempted me and ultimately just made me sad. I had left wishing I had all of these new things, wishing I looked like all the people I saw so I wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb, and wishing I looked more like them. 

4 months. That’s all it took. It took me 4 months away from the billboards and the advertising to see past the fake smiles in photos and the pretend joy that people decked out in fancy makeup and giant purses carry. I still don’t know what exactly to do with that information – but I wanted to share it anyway.

Fast forward about three weeks, to when we first arrived in Albania. I was freezing, in desperate need of purchasing some warm clothes, and overwhelmed by being placed in a city for the first time on the race. Stores lined the streets, options left and right. I went into a few stores trying to find a coat warm enough and a sweater or two, and went into a panic attack. This was the first time in a long time that I’ve dealt with panic attacks, and I knew that I had to get out of what triggered it. I left the store and sat down on the curb outside. I was overwhelmed by the options, bright colors, loud music, and started thinking, “If I think this is bad…I’m terrified to go back to America.”

I’m not really sure why I felt the need to share this with you all. I still feel pretty overwhelmed by the amount of stores and the emptiness I feel when I walk into them. But one thing that I did come to understand is that all the people we ministered to back in Central America – the homeless, the kids who lived at the dumps, the children and families who came to the feeding programs, etc…so many of them carried a joy that I didn’t see a single time in that mall in Nicaragua. They were ecstatic to play Candy Land with us, to get their faces painted, and to watch our spur-of-the-moment skits about the Bible. Some of these kids didn’t have a second set of clothes, barely a first – but their smiles were brighter than anyones at the mall. 

I want to share this story because I know 90% of the people who are reading this are from America. America is such an incredible, beautiful country and I am so thankful to call it my home. But it also is a huge innovator for marketing, technology, fashion, etc. We are surrounded by billboards, signs, magazines, flashy machinery and dazzling new trends. It’s a blessing to have the easy access and the swift communication – but it also blinded me for many years. My eyes have been opened since leaving America. My hope is that through this blog whoever’s reading this would be able to see a little more into what we’ve been seeing out here too. Sometimes the simplicity is greater than the other stuff. 

On the logistical side of things… If you could be praying for my team as we will be going to Turkey next week!! We will be going for one week and then will be returning to Albania. I’m excited to share with you more about what we’ve been doing in Albania soon 🙂